It all started the beginning of February when on a whim I decided to try to use up my cheapie internet HPTs. I really didn't think I was pregnant, no more so than every other month when I would hope I was but knew deep down it wasn't time. So early one morning, 2 days before AF was due to arrive, I took that monthly leap of faith and peed on a stick. And so it began with those 2 little lines...my journey into motherhood. Now denial is a funny thing. It is amazing how our minds try to protect us from getting hurt emotionally. Even though the test was positive, I didn't really believe it. I didn't believe it the next morning either, even though another test was telling me, in no uncertain terms, I was knocked up. The line on the test was darker. I fished the previous day's test out of the garbage just to compare. You do that sort of thing when you are crazy. I called my doctor. We set up a blood test for the next morning.
The morning of my beta, I woke up at 5 am and sneaked out of the house by 5:30 am. I still hadn't told Gene. I didn't want to get his hopes up, only to have them crushed again, inevitably. I calmly drove to Morristown, had my blood drawn, and crawled back into bed by 7 am. Gene rolled over and asked if I had gotten up for something. I said "no" and we both went back to sleep.
I got the phone call later that afternoon. The beta was positive. 50. Not a home run, out of the ballpark number, but positive. Now, all that mattered was that it doubled in 48 hours. I figured I had to tell Gene at this point! If that number didn't double, I would certainly need someone to lean on, someone who was as invested in this as I was. I peed on another digital test and bought him an early Valentine's present to give him that night. I gave him a card that said congratulations. He didn't understand...he still seemed a little confused when he saw the HPT that clearly read "Pregnant." He finally got it when he saw me grinning ear to ear. I didn't know what to do or say so all that came out was "We did it ON OUR OWN!" followed by a high five. Because that's what you do when you're crazy :)
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