Urologist Visit

I went with my husband for his follow-up visit with the urologist. The back story to this is he had a SA done through the hospital in October which came back borderline/normal. Then he had 2 more done through our RE's office which came back iffy...high white blood count and low morphology...decent motility and okay count (until you take the morphology into consideration). Anyway, our RE had him on a 10 day course of antibiotics after which his WBC should have gone down. It didn't. The nurse told us most likely we need more antibiotics....the RE told us that is nonsense and it won't make a difference in his SA. So I thought we'd get one more opinion from his urologist. All I wanted my husband to do was to CALL the doctor and ask for his opinion over the phone. He couldn't connect with the doctor and refused to play phone tag so I just made an appt for him to go in and talk to the doctor in person. He agreed with the RE (antibiotics won't help us). And then....he said to me...."You need to breathe. Take a deep breath. You're gonna get pregnant. And if you don't, just do IVF. You know, you probably just need to get away to the Bahamas and you'll get pregnant. Stop worrying and relax." OMFG. I don't know what the look was on my face but my husband looked ready to restrain me in case I punched the doctor out. In most cases I would have cried. But I just laughed. I have heard all sorts of misguided advice, but never all lumped into one! This doctor needs a serious lesson in bedside manner. NEVER tell some with i/f to relax, or go on vacation, or JUST do IVF. Because if it was that simple I wouldn't be at your office now would I?
Oh, and then poor DH had to get poked up the ass as a preventative measure. Well that's what he gets for not following up on his phone calls.

Paranoid about Parsippany Paparazzi

Well it seems we have a stalker. Some woman in a black bmw was in front of our house taking pictures this morning, at 9 am. She drove away, then came back and took more pictures--front of the house, side of the house...and of my husband's car! Then she saw my neighbors watching her and she takes off in her car, in reverse, down our street.
I reluctantly filed a police report, especially since the cops were just here last night with the dog debacle! The police officer gets here 2 hours later and says he would go look for the car, but by now it is probably gone. Really?? After 2 hours, you think? So he writes up the report and leaves, and not a minute later, the woman in the beamer is back. She drives up and down the street 3 times...slowing down in front of our house....
So I call to follow up on my police report and tell them this...and they dispatch the officer again...who drives around the neighborhood and then reports back to me that they can't find her and she was probably just taking pics of our lovely landscaping and basically stop wasting the police dept's time (thank you for the backhanded compliment, officer!).
Now I am hoping that it was someone scoping out our house for a commercial and not some nut job who is planning her revenge; not that I have a guilty conscience or anything and think someone may be out to get me. Aaack! What was that noise? Did you hear that?

Dogs gone wild

So, our one neighbor's dog Sadie (we'll call it a pit bull, although I think it is a mix) attacked our other neighbor's dog Max (mini schnauzer) last night. Sadie jumped through the window, broke through the screen and ran to our neighbor's yard and tried to eat/maul little Max! The owner tried to break up the fight and in the process got her own hand chewed apart. They were finally able to spray the dogs with water and break them up. 3 police cars and an ambulance later, everyone will live to see another day.
Now I am terrified to let Hercules out in front of the house. Luckily we have a fenced in yard and he's pretty content there. If that had been my dog I think I'd be holding a grudge. But it seems the two neighbors have made amends and there's no bad blood between them. Max is recovering with 3 wounds and some stitches.

Where to begin...

My husband and I have been TTC since November 2007. When we started, I anticipated that it might take a while but got easily impatient when it didn't happen right away. I am so used to wanting something, going after it, and getting it. I never would have imagined that a year and a half later I would be here typing my story; that I would be here, still childless (aside from our furbaby, Hercules). But that I would be here, as hopeful as ever that we will become parents, someday, somehow.
We have been through the wringer with testing. We were originally diagnosed as "unexplained" i/f but later came to find out we have issues with my eggs (high FSH) and his sperm (poor morphology). Our doctor tells us we have a 5% chance to conceive naturally. He recommends we move on to IVF which would increase our chances to 60%. We are completely OOP so that would cost us about 20 grand. I know you can't put a pricetag on a child, but these doctors seem to be able to! If we had the money, we'd do it in a heartbeat. We don't and now we have to decide whether it is better to live in denial or in debt.
We did get pregnant last summer. We lost it before it even sunk in. That gives me a little hope that it could happen naturally. The doctor says it might take us about 15 months versus a healthy couple who might take 3 months.
This month is our 23rd cycle. People who are TTC ask all the time when does it get easier. In one way, it does. I don't cry as much anymore. I expect the disappointment every month. And somehow I am still hopeful every month during my 2ww. I know I can't sit on the fence forever and it is going to take a lot of thought and consideration before I make any decisions on what to do. In the meantime, I just keep on hoping for a miracle....