Too tired to cry

Do you ever feel so emotionally drained that you don't even have the strength to cry? I feel like I could use a good cry. I tried to make myself cry. I think one tear came out. You know something is wrong when I can't cry--I am the biggest baby and cry about anything, happy or sad. I am just spent.
My urologist never called my gyno. Thanks for the wonderful follow-up hot doc. You are now on my shit list. I guess this just doesn't seem all that important? I am desperately trying to get an appt to see my RE but they will not call me back to schedule it. I did talk to my ob/gyn today and told her the diagnosis myself and she spewed out a bunch of information about endo that I already knew from google. She also poo-pooed my use of google to get information. Yet all her information was the same as google. She confirmed my fear that if I go on Lupron it would be for 6 months. Of course I just KNEW it wouldn't be the 1 month or 3 month protocol. Then after Lupron I would have to go back on BC pills. I am not sure which part of "I am trying to get pregnant" she doesn't understand! But she says I should try to kick the endo's ass before trying to get pregnant. She thinks if we do fertility treatments, the meds they use might hyperstimulate me and cause me to bleed into my bladder. But she said there is a Lupon flare protocol they use which could quiet down the endo before doing the treatments. She said my best bet is to talk to my RE.
Oh and I found out if we want to go the IVF route, we would most likely not be accepted into the "pre-paid shared risk" program where you buy cycles upfront and get your money back if you don't get pregnant. I don't know if I could handle the stress of paying for it cycle by cycle and it not working and losing that money entirely.
But, I am putting the horse before the cart. Not even sure if IVF is an option. Not sure if having a baby is an option. And mostly worried about the monstrous mass on my bladder trying to invade it and eat me alive. lol.